Do you feel like you are rushing from one activity to another? You are not alone, a research study found that “most parents, including at least eight-in-ten mothers (86%) and fathers (81%), say they feel rushed at least sometimes. But for many mothers who work full time, feeling rushed is an almost constant reality.” In fact, that same study found that “four-in-ten full-time working moms say they always feel rushed.” The feeling of being rushed seems to often come from parents trying to be present for their family and succeed in their career all at the same time. Striking the right balance between work and family life can seem like an impossible task at times, with both seeming to need more time and attention than is available in a day. The pressure can lead to stress, anxiety, burnout, and feelings of inadequacy for parents. Parents often wonder if there is a way to rush less and be present more or if rushing is just the nature of being a working parent. Here are 3 tips for working parents to find a better balance between work and family life:
Time Inventory: your available time is different throughout parenthood, but often parents expect themselves to accomplish the same amount of work and tasks in every stage. Some stages take more physical energy while others take more mental energy, so start by taking a realistic inventory of how you spend your time. How much time and energy does it take to complete the required tasks of the day, such as cooking, meetings, emails, dishes, and bedtime routine? After all the required tasks of the day are accounted for, with self-care included, how much time do you have left? This is the time you can build in longer transitions between activities to feel less stressed, cuddle with your kids longer, or drink a cup of coffee with your partner. If you take an inventory of your time and you have little to no time left after the required tasks of the day are complete, then it may be time to reduce some activities, seek some help from friends, or hire some help for the household.
Plan and Organize: working parents can benefit from putting planning and organizing time into their daily and weekly rhythms, such as setting aside Sunday to compare family schedules for the week ahead or doing all of the laundry on the weekends. Any tasks that can be completed ahead of time can help to build in more time into your busier days, helping you feel less rushed. There will be times you planned well, and then your toddler has a meltdown, your meeting runs late, or your teen has an extra practice. You know these times will likely happen, so plan for them. Give yourself extra time in the schedule to navigate these moments. There will still be difficult days where you are stressed and rushing around so try to be compassionate with yourself knowing you are trying your best.
Identify the Obstacles: if you desire more time with your family or more time to complete a task in the workplace; what do you think is standing in the way of this? What changes are within your control to help you balance your time? You might need to pause on some activities for a season, have workplace conversations, or be more intentional about putting your work down when you are with your family. No matter what you desire your workplace and family life balance to be, there are likely a couple of changes you could make to help you move closer to the balance you desire.
Reference: Raising Kids and Running a Household: How Working Parents Share the Load: In Close to Half of Two-Parent Families, Both Mom and Dad Work Full Time http://pewrsr.ch/1MHGaET
Written by: Jennifer Wilmoth, LMFT
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